1. It has to be caked on.
2. But avoid social contact anyway.
3. My armpits do not smell like mountain springs.
4. So this is why I discarded my first Tom’s bar a year ago. I should keep this one so history does
not repeat itself yet again.
5. But it smells so darn good when not on my body!
6. I feel betrayed.
7. Darn it, Emily. I knew this would happen but spent the $5.99 anyway.
My sister told me I smelled like a woodland fairy. Does that mean I smell like I’ve been camping?
She didn’t even get a solid whiff.
My mom told me I wouldn’t make friends if I sniffed
my armpits like that in public.
All I ever wanted was to avoid aluminum. Bauxite mining, you dig?
Hopefully not, because I am trying to prevent that with my smelly deodorant selections.