Reflections on My Deodorant Purchases Yesterday

Tom’s Deodorant:

1. It has to be caked on.

2. But avoid social contact anyway.

3. My armpits do not smell like mountain springs.

4. So this is why I discarded my first Tom’s bar a year ago. I should keep this one so history does

not repeat itself yet again.

5. But it smells so darn good when not on my body!

6. I feel betrayed.

7. Darn it, Emily.  I knew this would happen but spent the $5.99 anyway.


My sister told me I smelled like a woodland fairy. Does that mean I smell like I’ve been camping?

She didn’t even get a solid whiff.

My mom told me I wouldn’t make friends if I sniffed

my armpits like that in public.

All I ever wanted was to avoid aluminum. Bauxite mining, you dig?

Hopefully not, because I am trying to prevent that with my smelly deodorant selections.


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